I Intend to Organize My Entire Life

I'm Sick. And. Tired. of being a disorganized mess.  I can never find the library books or the kids report cards or the Wheat Thins.

I never have any trouble finding the Diet Coke, though.

Why can't everything be as important to me as Diet Coke?  If the report cards were as important as Diet Coke, I would totally know exactly how many I have, when I need to start looking for more, and where they all are.  Of course, I'd probably also have them stashed in secret places around the house, and lie about how much I have.  Because I can stop anytime I want.

Ahem.

I am taking my inspiration from the ONE organized place in my entire home.  It's the over-the-john cabinet in my master bedroom, which is basically in the remotest corner of my house, if there is such a thing as a remote spot in my house.  So, no one ever gets to appreciate my ability to organize.

And by that, I mean, no one will ever compliment me on my ability to organize.  Because that's the important part.

Which brings us to the photo part of this post.  Here is photographic evidence of my ability to organize.

It's real, people.

Sorry I don't have before and after shots for you.  Next time, I promise.

I searched high and low and through all of Google for containers that would fit this space.  I had to get the one with the handle, but I think I can live with it.  The tags are made from cardstock, and vinyl letters cut out on a Cricut.  I tied them on with basic string.  I figure this way the tags are easily replaceable if needed.

My next goal is to organize the disaster area of a broom closet.  I'm going to need support for that one.

The Plight of the Picky Eater

The plight of the picky eater is similar to the plight of the allergic, if you ask me. I have two reasons why. The first is extremely obvious; namely, that there are foods you must avoid. Although, there is some question about this word "must." Avoiding for the sake of your health and even life is quite a different thing from avoiding for the sake of your taste buds and your comfort level.

I used to be more sympathetic to the picky eater, after all, there are foods I don't like, and therefore avoid. But, then I married my husband, who could at least place in the finals of the Worlds Pickiest Eater contest. I have met a few others who came close to rivaling his pickiness, but none who clearly surpass it. My children have learned these habits as well, and now I am stuck in a houseful of people, all with differing dietary demands. And I, the lone member of the family who would enjoy food with actual flavor, is forced to sacrifice it.

The second way in which the picky is like the allergic has to do with the extensive thought process that is involved in avoidance. I have heard people complain about the lengths to which they are forced to go to cater to the person with a serious peanut allergy. The allergic person cannot be in the same room as a peanut. He cannot eat foods that were prepared with tools that also prepared peanuts. He cannot smell the breath of a person eating a peanut in any form. The consequence of this is so dire, that he will go to any lengths to avoid peanuts. In his mind, and in reality, his life depends on it.

The picky eater, similarly, will go to any lengths to avoid certain foods as well. My husband, for example, has deemed pickles as a "tainting" food, meaning that anything that a pickle touches will also taste like a pickle. And, a small thing like a couple drops of pickle juice on your hamburger cannot be ignored. It will ruin the entire meal, and make the burger completely inedible.

Here's another example: at a family gathering, a family member ate an olive from a dish that also had pickles on it. Then, that person picked up a clean fork, by the handle, and handed it to my husband, who used it to eat his meal. He was concerned that as he ate his meal, he might smell pickle juice on the handle of the fork, which would ruin the meal, which had quite obviously not touched pickles at all.

Now, to be honest, I don't love pickles either. I generally don't eat them, and only rarely have any reason to buy them. However, if I taste a little pickle on my burger, it is not the end of the world. I ignore it like everyone else. The pickiest eaters, however, are not able to do this. The consequences of tasting pickle juice are so dire, in their minds but not in reality, (a key difference which unfortunately affects my level of compassion) they will go to almost any length to avoid it. The picky eater may request that the pickles be left at another table, or may consider building some kind of barrier between his plate and the plates of people around him, or use napkins or towels to hold everything, not because he is a germaphobe, but because he is a picklephobe.

Of course, one cannot ignore the obvious difference. The person with a severe peanut allergy who gets a whiff of peanut butter may die, or at least suffer serious trauma. The picky eater who gets a whiff of pickle juice will be forced to suffer making the I-just-ate-a-pickle face. (Which I submit causes greater suffering to the people around him than to the picky eater himself!) But, I guess there is cause to respect a person who has the strength to go to such lengths to avoid discomfort. Right?

Poverty, a Love Story

Sometimes people ask me, "I'm so tired of trying to get richer and live a more comfortable life. I'm ready to try something different. How can I get poorer?" It's a common question. And, with our experience with very low-end rentals, we have some knowledge that might help you.

#1. First, if you intend to become poor, it is imperative that you not pay your bills, even and especially when you have the money to do so. We met one potential renter who was a pro at this. He and his wife, who obviously never missed a meal or a smoke break, lived with his mother rent free. She just asked them to pay the gas bill. They were both employed, but in collections nonetheless. They also had the lowest credit scores I have ever seen. He asked me to allow him to pay the security deposit over time.

#2. Don't take care of yourself. Very few of the poverty-stricken renters and potential renters we have met ever cleaned up very well. Most of them wore ill-fitting and not lovely clothing, no makeup or jewelry, and did very little with their hair. Many were either on drugs, or drank or smoked heavily, or a combination. There were a lot of missing teeth and poor dental hygiene in general. My favorite was the guy who wore a t-shirt with a cartoon penis putting on a condom. Classy.

#3. To become poor, you must treat everything you own as if it were trash. We had one renter who owned a scooter, and I think it was the only thing in his life that he cared about. He would work on it inside the apartment, never caring about the oil it left on the floor, or the smoky emissions that would fill the room. Also, it would backfire, and the neighbors would think there was gunfire inside the apartment.

#4. This one should really be at the top of the list, because it is the most important, the universal trait of those in a steady descent from poverty to outright self-destruction. Gain a sense of entitlement. To be truly poor, you must believe that the world owes you something, and you owe it nothing in return. You might think it is kind of ballsy to ask your landlord to protect the tomato plant you are growing without permission when you haven't paid your rent in two months, or to ask someone to rent to you when you have no visible source of income at all, but it's not if you believe you are entitled! The poor also believe it is the landlord who is outrageous when he gives you an eviction notice even though you had a really good excuse for not paying your rent this month. Or last.

#5. Work as hard at avoiding responsibility as most people do at meeting their responsibilities. We had one renter who was so experienced at working the system, we started to believe it was a form of entertainment for her to play with new landlords. She successfully managed to stay in her apartment without paying rent for more than 3 months, (yes, we were green and naive!) while enjoying the most expensive cable tv package, purchasing expensive pets, and making 100 mile road trips to the nearest gambling destinations. She told us she couldn't mail her rent because she didn't have a stamp. Avoiding responsibility was her full-time job.

Honestly, this is a post that could go on and on... we thought of endless traits of the chronically poor. Does being poor make people this way? We think not. We think being this way makes people poor. It's nigh on impossible to help people who are so heavily committed to their own destruction. Learning that fact almost led to ours. You just have to let people be who they want to be. Focus your efforts on something more realistic, like world peace.